Wait, I Thought Orks Were In CareBears
by DopeyTheChosen1
Summary: a bunch of random ff characters talk about movies and what's in them. then they kill all the villians from the HP movies. not really horror, but it's sort of stupid horror...if you know what i mean. really dumb, random stuff. please R


WOW. I was up at my grandma's house the other day and I found this old story I had made a loooong time ago. Some of the characters' lines might seem out of character, but that's because I hadn't played Final Fantasy 8 yet…which I do not own.

All of the following is what the original story said. The above and this is something that I just added.

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Okay, this probably won't be the best fic in the world. I had to redo it so it is sorta' different. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

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"Hey, Selphie!" Quistis called to here friend. "Have you seen the latest Harry Potter movie?"

Selphie thought for a moment. "Yeah! Wait … is that the one with the big snake?"

Squall and Irvine, as usual, appeared out of no were. Squall said, "Nah, the latest one has orks in it."

"Wait …" Irvine looked at Squall all confused. "I thought that orks were in Care bears."

"No." Rinoa said. "Orks are in Barney and the big snake is in Spiderman."

"Actually," Quistis began, "The snake is a basilisk and is in the second Harry Pot—"

She was interrupted by Zidane calling from another room. "Irviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! The show's startinnnnnnggggggggg!!"

"Huh?" Irvine looked down at his watch (yeahyeahyeah,hedoesn'treallyhaveawatch). "Oh shit! I'm gonna' miss it!"

Zell walked in. "What show?"

"Huh? Oh," Irvine got this really goofy grin. "Barbie and the Nutcracker or something like that."

"Barbie??" Selphie turned to look at Irvine.

"Sure." Irvine said with the same grin. "Them computer animated chicks are friggin' hot!" And, of course, Selphie slapped him across the face. "OW!"

"DUDE! She's wearin' this strapless thing! You're gonna' miss--- ooh, that's gotta' hurt!" Zidane yelled, still from the other room. Irvine finally ran into join him.

"Uh …" Rinoa turned to Quistis. "How did this whole thing start again?"

Quistis sighed, "I brought up HP."

"HP?" Squall paused, as though in thought, "Hell … Pie?" Rinoa smacks him. "Hey!"

And, of course, Vincent chose that moment to come in. Selphie nearly jumped out of her skin and screamed, "AUGH! IT'S VOLDE …. Uhhh …. MURT!"

Squall charged at Vincent, "I'll kill you Voldemurt."

Then Seifer came into the room, just in time to see Vincent go flying out of a new "door" in the wall. "Umm … maybe right now isn't the best time …"

He didn't get a chance to say whatever it was because Selphie kept screaming, "And Drago Moofloy! Ack!" Squall of course kicked Seifer out of an even newer door.

"Idiots." Quistis said, leaving, using the original door (shocking!).

Then Squall turned to every one else. "Hey, how do I know you aren't … aren't … um … Hey, Bob! What's my line??"

"Hey, how do I know you aren't all deatheaters?"

"Thanks Bob!" Squall said, and turned to face the group once more, "Hey, how do I know you aren't all deatheaters?"

"OH NO!" Selphie gasped. "That must be what Zidane and Irvine are really doing, GETTING READY TO EAT OUR SOULS!! Oh, wait. Deatheaters don't do that … oh well. AUGH! NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANY MORE!!" And then she made herself a new door in the wall.

"Wow." Zell said, "And I thought that Irvine was the crazy one."

"Yeah." Squall agreed. "Maybe we should give her some of Irvine's meds …?" (inside joke)

Then Irvine's voice came from the other room. "Augh! It's Tam Ripple! And he grew his hair out! … cool! … I mean, AUGH!"

"Shut up Irvine!" Squall yelled. "I already got rid of Voldemurt."

"Wahhhh!" Irvine ran in and hid behind Squall. "I-i-i-i-i-i-it's h-h-h-h-h-him!"

Laguna walks in, all confused. "What?"

"Augh!" Squall screamed. "IT IS TAM!" And he fainted. Irvine, realizing that his protection was gone, ran away. (I would like to mention that this room now had about half a dozen doors.)

"Uh … Did I miss something?" Laguna asked, then, seeing Rinoa's eyes narrow, said, "Oh crap."

"Angelo!" Rinoa pointed at Laguna, "Sick 'im!" And her dog "escorted" Laguna out of the room. "Good dog!"

"All right!" Zell cheered. "Go Angelo!"

"Hi guys!" Zidane said as he and Dagger walked in, "How's it go—_HOLY FXXX!! WHAT THE FXXX HAPPENED IN THIS FXXXING ROOM??"_

"Let's see," Rinoa counted the names off of her fingers. "We just chased off Voldemurt, Drago Moofloy, and Tam Ripple."

"Riiiggghhhhtt." Dagger arched an eyebrow, "You mean, Vincent, Seifer, and Laguna?"

"WHAT?" Everyone (who was conscious and not a million miles away) basically screamed.

Somewhere in Hogwarts

Harry woke with a start; he was covered in cold sweat.

"What?" Ron looked over at his friend. "Did you have another vision thing?"

"Yeah. All of these idiots were arguing over this, and thought this guy was Voldemort, and deatheaters, and and and… boy, that's confusing …"

"Um…" Ron wasn't quite following all of this. "Maybe you should get your inner ear checked?"

There was a silence, then Harry asked. "Ron, what's an ork? And a care bear? And who's Barbie?"

Ron just stared. 0o "Uh…"

"Never mind."

There was another silence.

"Ron, what's a carebea—"

"SHUT YOUR FXXXING MOUTH!"

Well, what do you think? I still think the original was better. But I can't post it. Well, I hunger and there are fresh cookies out there. Put 2 and 2 together. And you get 4! Hahahaha! I'm such an idiom! … wait …


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